"Oh... the Guilt!"

All I can say tonight is, "Oh...the guilt!" I feel so much guilt. Poor Mya and poor me. I took Mya to the dentist today for her first tooth cleaning. Everything was going so smooth. She let the hygienist pick at all of her teeth and scrape the plaque off. This went on for a good five minutes. Then it came time for the spinny toothbrush. Oh boy....she flat out refused this, which I was not prepared for. She uses my rotating toothbrush at home and she used to have one of her own. It was never an issue. But even the bubble gum toothpaste at the dentist wasn't enticing enough. So as the frustration grew for both of us, I resorted to bribery. This is the number one thing that I promised I would not do with my kids. I thought that parents who used bribery were just plain lazy. Well, I was one of those parents today and it wasn't because I was lazy. It was because I needed leverage...and fast. So I used going to a movie tonight as leverage. I told her that if she wanted to go to the movie then she needed to let the lady brush her teeth. Well, that did not work. I continued to push the issue thinking she would just give in. That didn't work. Then I attempted to hold her in the chair and that didn't work. Then....I attempted to hold her head and force the toothbrushing thinking that if she could just feel it once she would like it. But quickly I regretted that and felt so much guilt. Forcing a child to do something is never good. And it is another thing that I said I would never do as a parent. Ugh! So we left with no tooth cleaning and the promise of trying it again at the next visit. And after Dan and I talked about things when I got home we decided to go ahead and take her to the movie. Mostly because I didn't feel right taking something away from Mya when the situation was about fear and not negative behavior. So I gave in instead of following through with the consequence that I said I was going to enforce (not going to the movie). Another thing that I said I would never do. Especially from my background as a behavior specialist I know that when you say something...you better follow through with it. Luckily we can reason with Mya and weigh the pros and cons and learn as we go. Once we were home I told her how much I love her no matter whether her teeth were brushed or not. That is what I realy wanted to communicate to her. Bottom line....I have to forgive myself for making mistakes today and just learn from them. I wrote a thank you note to the dental staff thanking them for their patience with my daughter and with the mother. The other bottom line...every situation is different and it is okay to bend the rules and try new things with our daughters. I think that making sure they know that we love them and giving them hugs and kisses no matter what the circumstance is going to help all of us heal from the mistakes that we have made and will make as parents.