Confirmation

I was able to get into the doctor this afternoon for an ultrasound. There was no baby in the sac. She measured the sac and it was the same as the last ultrasound. I am definately sad, but went into the appointment expecting the worst. I continued to do more research on miscarriages these last couple days and knew that it was still a possibility. Last night I had bleeding for the first time so my body was preparing me too for getting sad news again today. Losing a baby is just devastating. There is no other way to put that. It aches so bad deep within me, but I can never lose sight of the fact that God is in complete control. And that thought alone gives me hope and encouragement. I grieve for the baby, but I feel a peace that only God has given me. That doesn't mean that I am not shedding tears for our loss. It seems like it hits me hard in the evening after the kids go to bed. I guess the girls keep me so busy during the day that it keeps me from thinking about things. But once the house is quiet that is when I have my meltdowns. I say these things just to show that having God in my life doesn't mean that things are easy. But I think it is amazing to see how God gracefully carries me through these tough times.