Halloween Costume

I dressed up the girls this morning to make sure that their Halloween costumes fit. Mya had a blast, but Sara..not so much.

Mya's Prayer

Every once in a while I have to write a post about a prayer that Mya says. This one had me laughing so much tonight. We are teaching her to say the Lord's Prayer and tonight was her first night repeating it after I said it in very small chunks. So I said "Our father" and she said "Our fodder", and that was funny enough. But then I said, "Who art in heaven" and she said very enthusiastically "Grandpa!" We have talked over and over with her about how Grandpa is in heaven now. She heard the word "heaven" and immediately thought of Grandpa. It was a pretty funny moment and she and I laughed and laughed about it. We finally made it through the prayer, but it was hard not to giggle at the way that she repeated words.

This weekend has been interesting for us. Saturday night and Sunday I experience some type of panic attack. Out of nowhere I would feel dizzy, lightheaded, and my chest would feel very hot. Then my hands and arms would feel tingly. Due to these feelings I would panic and have to practice breathing slowly to get through the moment. It would last about five minutes. I had one of these at church today and luckily a doctor was standing nearby so Dan grabbed him to come check on me. He felt my pulse and said there wasn't a concern with my heart racing, which is good. When I told him that I had a D&C two weeks ago due to a miscarriage, he wondered about a panic attack due to the emotional trauma of that situation. So tomorrow I will call my family doctor and have her start helping me diagnose what is going on. It is really scary when it happens, so I hope they can figure it out.

Tonight we had our third financial class at church. We are enrolled in a 13 week financial couse every Sunday night. It has been a great class. Dan leads a small group after we view a one hour DVD on a topic. We have a small group that likes to talk so that makes it fun. Sometimes Dan and I will just talk real with the group and tell them what we struggle with in our marriage when it comes to finances. We like to throw some humor in there too because some of our struggles sound so funny when we say them out loud. Dan is very strong with managing money, paying off debt, and not spending much. I am good at organizing our bills and I have to admit that I have a very good system going. However, I don't like the fact that Dan isn't involved with the details of the system that I have set up. We are both excited for this course because it makes both of us sit down and do homework together and communicate about EVERYTHING related to finances. I am so excited to see what God does with finances and our marriage. We have never had a huge fight over money because Dan is a saver and that has kept us out of debt and on a budget. However, I can't wait to see us both be on the same page with the details of the budget.

Family Day

If I could describe the perfect day for my family, I think it would be today. Dan got home around noon and had the afternoon off. We put Sara to bed for her nap and Dan laid down on the couch with Mya for her nap. The two of them slept while I watched a television show in high definition while hanging out in the recliner chair. Then..the girls woke up and we decided to take them to the fair for the evening. We got to the fair, ate some wonderful pulled pork, and saw lots of people that we knew. Then Mya rode a couple kiddie rides and Dan had a great time watching her. He thought she was SO cute (well, she is of course!). Then he took Mya on the large ferris wheel and she was not scared at all. She definately did not get my genes when it comes to heights. They even got a free ride on the ferris wheel. The guy who was running it must have felt extra nice at that moment. Finally, we went to see all the animals. Then we took the girls home, gave them a bath, put them to bed, and Dan and I did a yoga tape together. We had candles lit and the lights dimmed. It was awesome! I think the best part today was watching Dan watch the girls at the fair. He was so entertained by them. And I fall in love with him all over again when I see him with the girls like that.

Fair Rides

She is finally old enough to ride the rides!

Day Trip

We took the girls to Kingwood Center in Mansfield this morning. The flowers were outstanding and the girls loved the pond with the ducks. We got some cute pictures of them.

"Consider it pure joy..."

James on Trials. That was the name of a book that I did last winter as a bible study with women in my Sunday school class. Little did I know that I would be living through so many trials that I would actually have to apply the information that I learned. In the book of James, it talks about how we are to be joyful during trials. I never really understood that concept until now. But I am so grateful that I had the knowledge from the book of James to get me through our trials. Through the tears and tough days, I never forgot that God has a plan. And that gave me hope and joy that I wouldn't have had in the past. My faith was tested, Satan was at work, and things were just plain difficult for a while. But...I learned that things can always go up when they are down, that grief is healthy, that my husband is very committed and supportive, that my kids can make me laugh when I am sad, and that people all around me are incredibly loving and generous. We had meals, written notes, visits, and phone calls from so many people. I was and am astounded! I can actually say that I feel honored for going through recent trials. However, I am praying that we have a break for a while=)

Kitchen Remodel

I got a burst of energy this weekend after having such a tough week last week so I decided to paint my kitchen. For many years the kitchen has been sage green and I have never liked it since I painted it. Dan has always liked it so I have left it alone, but recently got my mind set on changing the color. I picked a burnt orange color and I absolutely love it. I am glad that the work is done, though. It took a long time to paint with two little kids running around.

Go Arrows!

Mya had her first experience as an Ashland High School cheerleader last night. Her aunt bought her an outfit to wear to the football game. Dan took her to the game and she was so excited to wear her new skirt. She is REALLY into skirts these days. She even got to have her picture taken with all the cheerleaders. We put the picture in a frame and she keeps it in her room. She felt so proud to be with them, even though she was scared to death of them too.

Fall Pictures

Design on a Dime

Me and my two sister-in-laws spent the entire afternoon together today shopping for curtains, a bedspread, sheets, pillows, and a rug for Grandma Brindle's bedroom. We really felt like we were on one of those makeover shows that we watch on television. It was so much fun!

Grandpa Jack passed away early this morning at home. We were ready to leave for church this morning when we got the phone call. Before we left, I was doing dishes and Mya asked, "Is Grandpa in heaven with the baby?" What a sweet, sweet question. Instead of going to church we went straight out to Grandma's house. Dan's mom and aunt thought it would be great to do a makeover of the room that Grandpa died in so Grandma could make that her new bedroom. It took us all day and took a lot of people helping, but we pulled it off. The room looked fabulous and very modern. We found a lime green bedspread, green and white rug, and brown curtains. It made me want to go home and redo a room in my house. We unveiled the room tonight and Grandma just cried and thanked us for the work that we did. It was so rewarding to see her face.

Now we are all home for the evening and just relaxing from a busy day. Tomorrow Dan has the day off of work and we are so excited to have a family day. We are going to take the girls to the parade in the morning and just spend the day together with the girls.

Surgery

I will be having a D&C next Tuesday in the early afternoon. Please pray for peace for me because I get anxious with medical procedures.

Confirmation

I was able to get into the doctor this afternoon for an ultrasound. There was no baby in the sac. She measured the sac and it was the same as the last ultrasound. I am definately sad, but went into the appointment expecting the worst. I continued to do more research on miscarriages these last couple days and knew that it was still a possibility. Last night I had bleeding for the first time so my body was preparing me too for getting sad news again today. Losing a baby is just devastating. There is no other way to put that. It aches so bad deep within me, but I can never lose sight of the fact that God is in complete control. And that thought alone gives me hope and encouragement. I grieve for the baby, but I feel a peace that only God has given me. That doesn't mean that I am not shedding tears for our loss. It seems like it hits me hard in the evening after the kids go to bed. I guess the girls keep me so busy during the day that it keeps me from thinking about things. But once the house is quiet that is when I have my meltdowns. I say these things just to show that having God in my life doesn't mean that things are easy. But I think it is amazing to see how God gracefully carries me through these tough times.